EP349 Katy Harris on Mediation Timesaving & Court Delays
The Hidden Cost of “Waiting Your Turn” in Family Court
When I sat down with Katy Harris for our recent interview, we talked about clocks. Specifically, the way a child’s clock ticks at a completely different speed than the High Court’s.
As mediators, we often tell parents to “trust the process.” But after hearing Katy’s story—both as a professional and a mother who lived through it—I’ve realized that the process itself can be the very thing that breaks a family’s ability to heal.
The Myth of the “Quick Fix”
Most parents enter the system with a specific image in mind: they’ll present the facts, a judge will see the truth, and a gavel will bring peace. Katy pointed out a jarring reality in our chat—most parents arrive at their first court hearing expecting to leave with a final order.
Instead, they are met with a “staged process.” While we practitioners see “due diligence” and “necessary procedures,” a child sees a year of their life disappearing into a black hole of interim litigation. In the interview, Katy was clear: by the time the “truth” is officially recorded, the family it belongs to has already been fundamentally altered.
Life After the Gavel
The most striking part of my conversation with Katy was her reflection on the “end” of her own divorce and custody case. We often think a final order is the finish line. For Katy’s family, the legal end was years ago, yet the work of “untangling” the damage caused by those years of delay continues today.
It’s a reminder to all of us: The paperwork might stop, but the rebuilding is just beginning.
Changing the Pace: Real-Time Intervention
Katy is currently pioneering a pilot in Wellingborough focused on real-time mediation. The goal is simple but radical: move the intervention to the very start, before the adversarial “limbo” sets in. We need to contain the fire before it burns the house down, rather than trying to settle the insurance claim years later.
If we want to be truly child-focused, we have to stop treating time as an infinite resource. It’s the one thing these families can’t get back.
Learn more about Katy at:
